Did you read this and immediately wonder if it is magic? It is possible you know. It could involve waving a wand and singing accio glow up! And you might not even need much apart from mice and pumpkins but this is real life, we are not Hermione or Cinderella, and we just have to strap our big girl boots on and get it done ourselves. Seriously, make sure those boots(or whatever is more your style) are stylish!
So with no wand and no fairy godmother, how do you get your life on track when it seems everything is at various levels of disintegration? Well I’ve found that you don’t need to do it all at once. I think it has some domino effect to it. When you pick one thing to change, and I would suggest you pick the easiest one, the confidence and positivity you earn from fixing that one thing will spread to the next and before you know it, they’re all down. Oh but yeah, this is life and the situations are never really completely eviscerated but after conquering your first domino round, you can be assured that you won’t be feeling helpless when the next set of challenges come. That sis, is the real glow up!
So how do I hit the first domino?
Well let’s dive right into it!
1. Get rid of that victim mentality sis! Who am I kidding? Life is not fair, and for no just reason, it seems to be being doubly unfair to you. Umm..yeah..no. We’re not doing that anymore. Now, as of this moment, we are taking control of our lives back. Yes, life is not fair, but what are you going to do to make yours better? Are you getting up and changing what you can or are you going to remain curled up and whimpering? Getting up it is! You see, the victim mentality has you blaming your situation on anything and anyone but yourself. You’ve told yourself it is not your fault that things are not falling in place so you don’t even try to change your situation or narrative. Feeling sorry for yourself is easier than trying to get out of the funk that is self pity.
I know about this because I have been there. For three years, I moped around wondering why life was treating me so harshly and how I did not deserve to be where I was at the time. Nothing changed. I complained and complained and complained some more. Then I pitied myself because poor me didn’t have the resources and opportunities that other people had. Poor me.
Not anymore! Glow up girl!
I cannot tell when it changed. I may have read an article like this or a book. Now i remember, it was 7 secrets of success by… As I started to be aware of the extent of my victim mentality, I became ashamed. With everything I had been given, I had chosen to complain about what I did not have. That turn around has resulted in this Paula, who understands that she is capable of changing her story and if I can, you can too! Taking responsibility of my life was the best thing I ever did for myself. If that is not an absolute glow up, I don’t know what is!
“If it’s never our fault, we can’t take responsibility for it. If we can’t take responsibility for it, we’ll always be its victim.”Richard Bach
2. Highlight your strengths – There is no one in this world that is empty. God does not do empty. There is something in each and every one of us that the world needs. So all that goodness is lying wasted while you cry about everything you do not have. Come on! There are things you would do without getting paid, just because you love it. There are things that you could do in your sleep. But because you are so focused on what you don’t have and what you have been unable to do, you cannot grow and build on what you can do. I didn’t get my dream job, and I sulked for the longest time. But writing is something I’ve done forever and it still took such a long time for me to get here. You can cut through all that wasted time of sulking over what you didn’t get and start working with what you do have!
No time to waste no more!
3. Make a move – I’ve found that a lot of times, we are not moving because we have refused to make a move. We gather up all the excuses required to remain in our comfort zone and dish them out whenever the opportunity rises.
I don’t have the capital to start a business
I don’t have the skills
I’ve always been mistreated by my family
Nobody taught me these things
These are just a few excuses that we allow keep us from making the required moves. Guess what? You don’t always need to know the whole map before making a move. Making the move clarifies things. There is no growth in the comfort zone. How many times have you heard that? That’s because it is true. If you want to stay in bed all day, you will get the results of one that stays in bed all day plus frizzy hair. If you get up and seek opportunities, you will find opportunities. Leave the excuses behind and glow up. You can do it and you owe it to yourself to do it. Reach out to that person, learn that skill, forgive and let go of the people that have hurt you. Release everything that is holding you back and make that move!
4. Take yourself seriously – I once coached a client who laughed at herself every time she had to make a pitch. She just didn’t think anyone would take her seriously so she started to believe she wasn’t to be taken seriously, so she would laugh at herself before anyone else did! We turned that around. It was the first thing we tackled because it can cause the most havoc. If you don’t believe in yourself, why should anyone? If you don’t take yourself seriously, why should we? The mistake a lot of people make is they think the world will be fair to them when in truth, the world can be really brutal and it is up to you to set the tone for how people will take you. If you show that your time is not very important, people will treat your time like it is not important. If you treat your product or results like they are mediocre, then the world will treat you the same way. Have standards girl!
5. Show up consistently – Whether you’re a business owner, a home maker or an intern, showing up is the best thing you can do for yourself. Consistency is the magic ingredient. It is universal in it’s application. When you make a commitment, honour it. Don’t leave people hanging. Don’t leave yourself hanging. Don’t start a skincare routine and drop off halfway. Your skin will thank you for it. Don’t start a venture and abandon it when a challenge comes along. You are letting yourself know you cannot be trusted to finish what you started and let me tell you, you will start to believe it.
Anf finally, for real for real…
6. Get out of that toxic space – I don’t know what it is for you. Family who is always telling you you can’t be better, Friends that strive to show you they’re better than you, relationships that try to convince you they are doing you a favour being with you. You need to hightail it out of there. If they are people you cannot sever ties with, then you need to find a strategy to stay as far away from them as possible. You don’t need any more negativity and you definitely don’t need people who take shots at your self esteem around you. No sir!
The glow up is real business, and it starts with you taking control of your narrative. I really want that for you sis! Today is the day. Change what you don’t like. Glow up!
Is there any tip you have that’s not on the list? Share with us!